Thy Will

  I’m so confused I know I heard you loud and clear So, I followed through Somehow I ended up here I don’t wanna think I may never understand That my broken heart is a part of your plan When I try to pray All I got is hurt and these four words Thy will…

Day 3: Amazing Things

“Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you.” – Joshua 3:5 “It is impossible to please God without faith.” -Hebrews 11:6 Today’s chapter of the book has caused me to reflect on the many amazing things that the Lord has impressed upon my family’s life. Growing up, I never envisioned living anywhere…

Day 2: The 40 Day Prayer Challenge

This 40 day prayer challenge was brought to my attention from a friend. The challenge spoke to me because lately I feel like I am at the tipping point of discovering what God has been calling me to do. With the loss of Ezekiel, getting my mind, heart and body ready for the TTC process,…

Seasons

I’m winding down for the year and wrapping up the school and work season. I’ve been mulling over some new entries and will be updating in the next several days. In the meantime, I leave you with a song that has been on repeat on my playlist. I believe that my season will come.   …

The battle continues

It has been six months since the passing of Zeke. Three months since my TAC surgery. My grief continues to come in waves. Other days I am fine. Some days I am not. As the holiday season approaches, it absolutely breaks my heart that the homecoming arrival of my son to San Diego during the…

Invisible Boundaries

It’s been well over a month post-TAC surgery. I’ve received some questions on Abbyloopers about my recovery so I just wanted to check-in. I’m so thankful to say that my recovery has gone really well. Days after my surgery, I was resuming normal activity and walking around for miles a day here in NYC, albeit…

Do It Again

Counting down two weeks and some change until my TAC surgery! I have updates to write about my follow-up appointments with my OB/GYN and my appointment with a Maternal Fetal Medicine Specialist at Weill-Cornell yesterday. These posts will have to wait until I get through all my work the next couple of days. In the…

Explaining loss to a Kindergartner 

One of the most heartbreaking experiences of losing my son has been telling my daughter about his death. For 5.5 months, she asked so many questions about him and would always talk to my belly.  “It’s a boy, mommy! Now I don’t have to share my toys!”  “Good morning, baby brother!”  On our morning commute…

My Phone Consult with Dr. Haney

On the day of my phone consult with Dr. Haney, I paused and invited God into my conversation with him. I asked God for his guidance in helping me to determine if this is the procedure I should complete and if Dr. Haney was the doctor I should go to. I had been thinking non-stop…

Pregnancy Reflections

For the most part, I had an uneventful pregnancy with Ezekiel. I did the exact opposite of what I did during my pregnancy with my daughter. I ate well, I exercised, I wasn’t as stressed, and I didn’t travel as much except for the occasional San Francisco and two week long international work trips. While…